In essence the Head of House (HoH) concept is a biblical concept that the Husband is to be the Head of House and therefore in leadership of his wife and family. In truth there are several different passages of scripture that either support or teach this concept and since I shall probably be looking at these in different posts within this blog I am going to safe tme and space by not listing them all here. Perhaps it might be helpful however if I do just mention one to begin with and so if you are looking for a good place to start tyou could do a lot worse than by starting at Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV.
Of course it could be argued that in this modern day world where egalitarianism, feminism and matriarchal societies seem so common place, it might seem somewhat starnge (if not just a little controversial) for someone to suddenly publish a blog about “Being a Head of House”especially when the primary focus of this blog is about men taking up the role of being the Head of House and thus being in a leadership position within that role.
So why do it?
Is it to upset the egalitarians or feminists among us? No of course not.
Is it done to put men back on top? No not even that!
Is it done to put women in their place? No not at all!
Is it done as a result of a deep seated resentment towards women? Absolutely not.
It is actually done to present what I feel is God’s design for marriage and for the relationship between a husband and wife.
In this blog I intend to be totally open and honest about how I personally view God’s instruction’s on marriage, and about many of the practices that I have heard or read about when it comes to Head of House’s (HoH’s), Submissive Wives, Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), Loving Domestic Discipline (LDD) and many other things. Through this blog I hope to look at things from both the Husband’s and the Wive’s perpective. Because of this some posts will be aimed at wives, some at husbands and some just general in nature.
Invitation:
I really would like for this blog to be a place where men and women, singles and couples, wives and HoH’s alike can feel free to post comments, ask questions and share their own opinions, viewpoints, needs and the such so please feel free to explore and to participate! I do however ask that no matter what your opinion or viewpoint you always keep your comments respectful.
AND let me be clear, open and honest right from the very start here. My own personal viewpoint is to try and see things from a Godly and Christian perspective. I have no interest in debating God’s word against political correctness or even debating the validity of God’s word itself. I simply believe God’s word to be correct and true so I try to come at all things from that point of view. If you don’t agree that is of course your right but please don’t expect me to debate it with you.
Additionally, I do NOT pretend that what I write is the way that everyone who is in a CDD lifestyle thinks or feels or even that it is how most of them think or feel. It is purely how I feel and think and my reflections on things and I offer them out of love.
So there you have it. Which direction this blog will take is not predetermined other than it is one man’s viewpoint and I hope will be an interesting and loving journey which I invite you to take with me.
Just linked off Devins’ blog. I am interested in reading more from you. Don’t get an HOH view often. I agree with you. Most people do not understand how freeing being submissive to an HOh can be. I do not try to justify or condemn my DD lifestyle most people don’t get it. I think it allows the natural differences between men and women to grow.
Ciao.
I Gal
I Gal is right about not hearing much from the HoH point of view!
Thank you for your blog. It is always good to hear from a man who loves his wife and can understand how great it is when you have a HOH whom you can trust and you know cares for you sacrafically
Hi lovedandspankedwife,
Thanks for your kind comment. I don’t presume to suggest that this blog will have all the answers, just one HoH’s point of view but it is my sincere hope that it will help folk.
God Bless.
Hello. I agree with your beliefs. I think a man should be the HOH and lovinly correct his wife. I think maintenance spankings can be good as well just to keep a female motivated and on the correct path. But what do you do if you are single? I may sound crazy, but I would like to find a chuch or Bible group or something where I could meet with other believers. I would like to find a group with these beliefs that meet once a week or even just once a month. After study time and prayer, I think it would be good for single women like myself to have a time of repentance or a time of bettering themselves. In this time we would receive spankings to help us grow both personally and grow in Christ. I am ok with being single but I do feel I need to submitt. I feel there may be others like myself that could benifit from a group like this. Does anyone know of shuch a group or church? Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to post.
Hi Submissivefemale,
Thanks for posting and I am glad you agree with the concept of the Husband being the Head of House.
In answer to your question I doubt very much if you will find anyone church or Bible group which openly advocates the spanking of adults, females or wives as an acceptable form of discipline. To be totally honest whilst the Husband being the HoH is indeed a biblical teaching the spanking and corporal punishment side of CDD is much more vague and is really down to personal beliefs and convictions rather than a widely accepted practice.
Let’s be honest here, in a society where ‘political correctness’ is fast becoming more important than the logic behind it, a lot of churches and fellowships seem to be more concerned with putting butts on seats and not offending anyone rather than preaching the truth. And so I really don’t foresee you finding a church or Bible Group that will serve your needs.
This having been said, take heart because all is certainly not lost. There are groups and forums that you could join in order to find someone to fulfill your accountability, development and spanking needs.
One such group that I would suggest (and please understand I do not recommend groups that I have no direct personal knowledge of) is ChristianDomesticDiscipline over on yahoo – here is a link for you. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/christiandomesticdiscipline/join
I would also very strongly recommend your checking out Devan’s site http://unadulterateddevin.wordpress.com/ Devan is a wife who is in a CDD relationship and is an excellent person to keep in touch with in this respect.
One of the things that you are going to have to consider before going any further, if you don’t mind me saying so, is the question of where to get your accountability and spankings if there is no church group. Do you consider entering into an accountability relationship with another woman? And certainly some would frown on this saying women have no right to spank women, or do you find a single man who will hold you accountable and who will spank you when needed? And again some will frown on this saying it is only for the marriage relationship.
Personally I understand the need to be held accountable and the benefit of spankings/discipline regardless of marital status providing that it remains a non-sexual relationship at all times. And whilst I have in the past been fulfilled this role and managed to do so with no sexual complications, I would suggest that a lot of men and indeed some women would struggle with this.
Whatever you decide or happens please be assured of my support and my thanks for posting and please do check out the links that I suggest!
God bless.
EXTREMELY CONCERNED about my sister, who has not only become indoctrinated in the HoH belief, but also teaches classes about it? Why am I so worried? I’m a Christian, and I do believe in the GENERAL concept of ALL HUMANS humbling themselves in order to be good examples — one of the ways to do this, some say, is for women to submit to HoH. Personally, I don’t do it, and won’t; I’m as feminist as they come.
HOWEVER, my sister’s husband is abusing — and when I say abusing, it’s not an exaggeration, I’m talking about ABUSING their children and their pets. We’re taking broken bones here.
I want you to seriously consider that, for a small percentage of the human population — nay, statistically speaking, it’s actually a whopping thirty percent of homes where there is domestic violence — this is a recipe for disaster.
How can you justify the sanctioning of potentially 30 percent of your fellow humans to be abused? FIRST, YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST CONSIDER THIS POINT BEFORE I REPLY TO ANYTHING ELSE YOU MIGHT WRITE BACK. Denial of stats, bending truths, justifications, blah, blah, blah — none of these will suffice. You absolutely MUST address this! Because it’s happening in 30% of homes that willingly partake in HoH as a concept. In other words, 30% — perhaps even more — of those in your faith that subscribe to this belief, suffer domestic violence.
Address. Now. Ahem!
Hi Lucy,
Before anything else I want to explain that I have approved your comment for publishing on this blog because I fully and strongly believe that it highlights a very real and very tragic situation that is happening in countless homes and relationships the world over.
I also wanted to be able to assure you that you, your sister, her husband, their children and indeed their pets will be in my prayers and that it is my sincere and heartfelt prayer that the situation that you describe in your comment will stop and that the healing process can begin.
Let me be totally clear here and let there be no misunderstanding here what so ever. I, and indeed this blog will NOT sanction, condone or encourage abuse or abusive relationships and the kind of thing you are talking about has NOTHING to do with true Christian Domestic Discipline regardless of whether or not the husband tries to justify his actions and behavior by hiding it behind that title.
Because of this I do not feel it appropriate to seek to defend Christian Domestic Discipline in respect of what you have said since nothing you have said that happens in their has in my opinion any relationship to Christian Domestic Discipline. I am deeply saddened to learn of your sister’s and indeed her children and pet’s plight and I will be praying.
God bless you and thank you for taking time to share you compassion and concerns.
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt reply. The only thing I’m confused by is the last part, where you wrote, “Because of this I do not feel it appropriate to seek to defend Christian Domestic Discipline in respect of what you have said since nothing you have said that happens in their has in my opinion any relationship to Christian Domestic Discipline.” Please clarify. Thank you again.
Hi Lucy,
Please accept my apologies if the last part of my response to you caused you any confusion or offense, that was not my intention at all.
What I meant by my comment is that what you were describing as happening to your sister, even though she and her husband may claim it or even consider it to be a normal part of Christian Domestic Discipline is NOT normal within Christian Domestic Discipline. Because of this I would not under any circumstances wish for anything that I would say in defense of Christian Domestic Discipline to be misconstrued or misunderstood or seen as an attempt to defend what is happening to your sister. To be totally candid and honest with you I am both shocked and very saddened that such things are happening to your sister and I do not feel that what is happening to her has anything what so ever to do with CDD.
CDD is a lifestyle choice made by consenting Christian adults who believe that the use of loving, safe and sane discipline in their lives is beneficial to them, their faith, and their marriage.
The discipline administered (whilst I accept that not everyone understands or accepts it) is administered by the husband to his wife who desires or appreciates it (or it’s benefits) and is done in such a way that it is not harmful or detrimental to her or to him.
It is NOT and never should be an excuse to abuse, humiliate or harm another or for control or power or ego.
As hard as it this maybe for some to understand (something that I fully appreciate especially in this day and age) it is quite simply a recognition of 1. the husband’s leadership role within a marriage. 2. The need for both husband and wife to submit to that role and 3. The fact that discipline when applied properly can be beneficial.
I fully and sincerely believe that what you described as happening to your sister is totally wrong and completely outside of the remit of CDD as the fundamental basis of CDD is that it be Christian and thus be loving.
Lucy, I sincerely hope this helps clarify what I meant by the last past of my reply to you. Please understand and please know that I do NOT in any way seek to condone, excuse or agree with the kind of things you spoke of in your original comment and that I am praying for your sister and her husband.
God bless you.
Hi I just found your site. I am a 58 year Christian wife married to my husband for 38 years. We have been a traditional marriage for about 37 years of that. I grew up in a home where my my Dad spanked my Mom , it was no secret to us kids though Mom got spanked in private. . We have three grown children, one boy our oldest and two girls. At 58 I don’t get spanked as much any more, I have been spanked only three times this year and I probably deserved these spankings.
When I first got married my husband didn’t spank me at first and I acted up because of this. One day I came home to my husband after being out with some friends until 10 oclock and I found my dad waiting with my husband with a brand new strap. I was given a terrible strapping and did corner time while my Dad talked to my husband. That was how our DD relation started and I think it has been a good thing.
Hi NSVW1951,
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for taking time out to comment.
It was great to hear from you and how you feel this is a good thing.
Keep on checking the blog and feel free to comment any time.